11/23/2004

From adHACKS to acwHACKS

There's a new gag website called "adHACKS" based on the idea of "stock copy to go." It's supposed to be like the stock photography agencies that sell one-time use of a generic photo. In theory, adHACKS would sell one-time use of bromide text at a price cheaper than original ad copy. Example:
Acme Outfitters, Inc. provides well made, casually stylish clothing and outdoor products for men and women who seek versatile, classically styled, high-quality goods designed to meet the wide range of their changing lifestyle needs.

It occurred to me that a lot of money could be made selling straight, reusable hackwork to leading Civil War authors. By mixing and matching stock paragraphs and placing them on a timeline, your Pulitzer prizewinners could generate many more books per year while at the same time enriching all our lives. Meanwhile, the operators of acwHACKS could make a decent, if anonymous, living. For instance,
By the time he wrote these words, Lincoln had made up his mind that to save the Union he must destroy slavery. The means always remained subordinated to the end, but the means did become as essential to the northern war effort as the end itself. In that sense perhaps we could describe Lincoln as a pragmatic revolutionary, for as a pragmatist he adapted the means to the end.

Well, maybe that one needs some more work. How about,
Union volunteers invoked the legacy of the Founding Fathers. They had inherited a nation sanctified by the blood and sacrifice of that heroic generation of 1776. If disunion destroyed this nation, the generation of 1861 would prove unworthy of the heritage of republican liberty.

Got your heart pumping? Here's one more:
Things would get worse for the North before they got better. At the end of April, a new commander of the Army of the Potomac, Major General Joseph Hooker, launched an offensive at the crossroads hostelry of Chancellorsville, a few miles west of Fredericksburg. After getting in the enemy's rear and gaining a tactical advantage, however, Hooker lost his nerve and yielded the initiative to Lee.

Wow, that's good. Are you all tingly?

I think somebody's got a viable business model here.