"History" and eggnog

To many, history seems worthless unless used as a raw ingredient in some sort of brew, usually political or military analysis. For such readers, Investor's Daily weighed in yesterday with a potent recipe for history nog.

To get your run-of-the-mill nonfiction reader good and drunk on punditry spiked with "history," first assemble your ingredients in a work area cleaned of messy detail.

Pour some strong spices in a bowl: "[Colin] Powell seems to be morphing into the McClellan of his time."

Break your eggs into the bowl; don't worry if they are rotten or sound: "He'd been sacked by Lincoln as commander of the Army of the Potomac for his reluctance to commit his troops to battle."

Mix in a little frothy cream: "Weary Union voters seemed willing to accept McClellan's plans to accept a stalemate..."

Add moonshine to taste: "Line up everything we've got and more, point it in the general direction of al-Sadr and the other jihadists, put a Sherman in command and shout Charge!"

Uh oh, this nog maker has tasted too much of his own brew.