6/30/2005

Attention, prospective authors

This is verbatim from the local edition of Craig's List [my emphasis added]:

College professor wants to hire writers as gardeners

Literature professor and nationally-recognized book author and feature writer wants to hire writers to weed and plant in a big back yard garden. Your payment will be $10/hour, PLUS two hours of my consulting time (I typically bill $175/hour) for a private seminar on writing and publishing. You'll get a professional assessment of your credentials, learn how to approach national markets, and we'll brainstorm how to take your writing career to the next level.

You'll be in a group with five or six other writers. I'll provide water, shade, cold drinks, food, and encouragement. After three hours of gardening in the morning hours when it is still reasonably cool, we'll break for early lunch and the afternoon seminar. You go home $30 richer, and with a wealth of knowledge about publishing. Seminar includes handouts as well. DATE: Sunday, July 3

REQUIREMENTS: Competitive enrollment. I will look over your qualifications and give you a FIRM answer by close of business on Friday, July 1. Course is full at 7 people.

"Course" and "seminar" - lovely.

I know what a horse likes to eat, but what plants would a horse's ass need?