Civil War book blurbs we'd like to see

Fits better with Mad magazine, but here goes:

"There are a lot of books out there and this is one of them."

"I never realized how much I knew until I read this book."

"This is an author with some spine."

"Just when you think you've heard it all, here's a book to confirm that."

"The errors are minor, the interpretations unsteady, but the storytelling is magnificent."

"Never have I awaited the end of a story with more anticipation."

(Inspired by Peter Cook introducing the Stranglers on national TV.)